The Plan
So, in the blog “A Natural Birth,” I wrote about the kind of births possible and the kind that I wanted. I wanted to have an unmedicated, vaginal birth.
In preparation for this, Ben and I practiced natural pain relief exercises like counter pressure. We also bought LED candles in different sizes with fake wicks that move, so that we could dim the hospital lights, put on some music, and set the mood for the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes called the “love hormone” because its levels are increased after a hug or a kiss. It is also the hormone that causes the uterus to contract in childbirth, leading to the effacement and dilation of the cervix. Every time a doctor or nurse walked into our labor room, they mentioned that it felt like they were at a relaxing café, and they just wanted to get a book, put their feet up, and read.
Besides candles and music, I also brought essential oils for massage, pain management, and a pick me up. I had a peppermint and lavender oil in addition to a ginger mixture meant to help re-energize you. After all, labor was called labor because it was hard work. I needed to find ways to keep up my energy when contractions made sleep difficult or impossible. Another important natural pain relief method is soaking in warm water. So, on one of our tours of the labor and delivery room, Ben brought a tape measure to measure the shower space. He then used the measurements to buy me an inflatable tub that I could soak in when the pain got bad.
Essentially, if there was a natural pain relief method suggested for childbirth, Ben and I was prepared to use it. The only method I did not use because I learned about it too late was hypnosis, though I did utilize meditation. I plan to try hypnobirthing should I have the good fortune of becoming pregnant again.
We also created a simple birth plan that we shared with the doctor and nurse midwives at my last prenatal appointment. I say the plan was simple because Ben and I went through several different birth plans all ranging from 2 – 4 pages long, and we ultimately created one that was one-page and bilingual. In other words, if it was in only one language, our requests would have taken up only half a page.
We wanted to keep our requests simple and to the points that were most important to us. For example, we wanted to have delayed cord clamping. Why? In order to help the baby fit through your pelvis and vagina for delivery, your body stores quite a bit of the baby’s blood in the placenta until the baby is born. After the baby is out, that blood is then pumped back into the baby. However, before a significant amount of research showed the gains of waiting even just 30 seconds after the baby is born to clamp and cut the cord, doctors would immediately clamp and cut the umbilical cord after a baby is born. So, babies don’t get all the blood back and suffer from anemia, especially if the baby is exclusively breastfed and not getting iron in their diet until they start eating solids.
In addition to waiting, we asked that Ben be able to cut the cord. This request is not unusual, but we wrote it down anyway. I won’t detail the other requests we made here, but they were all based on the research I’d spent months doing and all I had learned from an in-depth prenatal course called the Know Your Options Childbirth Course. I would recommend any mom to invest in this course. When I first saw the price, I thought it was expensive. But I’m glad I bought it. It was worth every penny. A traditional hospital prenatal class isn’t nearly as informative, comprehensive, or empowering.
Now, of course, Ben and I made several plans because we knew that life never went according to plan. However, I was still blown away by the reality of my birth experience. It unfolded in a way that I never thought possible.
Pre-Labor
On August 2nd, I felt a second “lightening.” It’s the feeling that your baby has dropped lower into your pelvis. They call it lightening because all that pressure on your stomach and lungs have eased up now that the baby is lower in your uterus. I had already experienced my first lightening on July 18th, but the baby dropped even lower on August 2nd. I told Ben that Friday that this baby was likely to be born before the following weekend. In fact, the baby may even be born that same weekend.
That Friday, I started having cramp-like pain which may have been contractions, whether Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) or real ones. Having not given birth before, I couldn’t tell the difference. To my surprise, the baby didn’t come that weekend, though the discomfort remained and increased. I took it to mean what I was feeling was just practice, preparation for labor. Even so, that weekend, Ben and I got serious about finalizing our hospital bag. I had been about 70 – 80% packed for about month up until that point. That weekend, we moved it up to 95%. We couldn’t do 100% because we still needed everyday items like our cell phones, chargers, tooth brushes, and so on.
Our 39-week prenatal appointment was scheduled for Thursday August 8th. Up until that day, the practice contractions started to become more common. In fact, when I went for my prenatal appointment, we took the hospital bag with us. I thought there was a very real chance that I may not be going back home that day. However, I still wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was real labor or just one of the many symptoms that labor would start “soon,” which could mean anything from that day to another two weeks from now.
At my appointment, they took a urine sample, checked my blood pressure, and monitored the fetus as normal. The fetal monitor they setup also tracks the baby’s movement and can see contractions if you are having them. When my doctor came into the room where I was being monitored, she asked me if I wasn’t in pain. I said, “No, not really.” She said, “Huh, well, you’re having contractions.” I was blown away. So, I was having contractions. After she left the room, I asked Ben more than once, “Did she just say I was having contractions?” It was partially a language thing, as my OB always used Mandarin to communicate with me, but it was also a disbelief thing. I didn’t want to get too excited, but I was like, “This baby is really coming soon!”
After my OB appointment, I had another appointment with an ENT doctor at a different clinic. Ben and I went there for the appointment, and we decided to wait and see whether the contractions continued to intensify. However, the contractions never got close enough together to warrant returning to the hospital. Instead, we went to a burger restaurant across the street, where I had two of the best burgers I’ve ever had in my life. I mean, I only ate one burger in total, but Ben and I shared. So, I got half of two different burgers. If that weren’t good enough, they make mint chocolate chip milkshakes that rival Steak n’ Shakes’. (In case you didn’t know this about me, I get a mint chocolate chip milkshake from Steak n’ Shake every time I go back home). The only downside about this meal was knowing that once I was finished, we would be going back home.
I was disappointed not because I was tired of carrying the baby around but because I was looking forward to the challenge of labor. I had done all this planning and preparation. I was anticipating it in the way a woman might anticipate her wedding day after months of preparation. I think giving birth is an even more important day in a woman’s life, but hospital’s tend to frown on women who come in with birth plans. In fact, in my birth course, the doula leading the class suggested I make a birth plan but not bring it to the hospital. It would only serve to annoy the doctors and nurses. Ben and I were amazed by this. Why is it that I can plan my wedding in great detail, down to the color of the sashes on the guest chairs, but if I give half that much thought, research, and planning to the birth of my child I’m considered an “entitled,” “difficult,” or “know-it-all” patient?
It’s hard to know the answer to that question. As we headed home on the train that night, I also didn’t know that I’d be back at the hospital the next morning.
**The featured image is of the milkshake and one burger that ate on the night of August 8th.
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